……I was seriously losing my mind,,I didn’t know what to do, what could have made my husband changed into this beast was what I didn’t know,,, I thought about so many ways I may have offended him,but I couldn’t get any,,,I will always go to bed in tears and pain,the worse kind of pains, is suffering for what you know nothing about…
Bad enough I was neglecting my son,all because of the pains ID was causing me,I didn’t have the time bounding with my baby, because my mind was always lost in thoughts ,,,,,marriage is not like dating,once a woman gets married,her middle name becomes patience,,, so mummy said on the eve of my wedding…
My dear,,,don’t expect ID to exactly be the same after marriage,,, some things may change about him,,,and you begin to see behaviours you never knew were there,,,,men are like novels,at times you open some chapters they are interesting, and your turn to some,they make you cry,so aunt Eniola said….but I only laughed as they spoke, because I was certain my ID would never never make me cry,, but here I am faced with the reality of life…..
Was I always like this and has been pretending, or I have wronged my husband, these were my worries everyday,,,, the joy and bliss that goes with nursing a baby,especially a long awaited one like my case wasn’t seen in me,I have become a shadow of myself….
It was two weeks and two days and ID was back,welcome honey, your dinner is served,how was your trip and where did you travel to,,, how dare you ask me where I have been you fool,,I am sorry,please your dinner is served, I replied, get that thing you call food out of my sight he said,,,,
I looked at him in shock,ID has always loved my food,,, oh God, I was losing my mind,,,,,he had his bath and went to bed,I joined him in the bed room,and tried to touch my husband, I have missed him so much,,,please please I am tired, he said,but honey its been almost three weeks,didn’t you miss me all through your travel ,,,please I went to PH for a business conference, I was too busy attending to important issue ,,,,,how was the conference, I hope it went well(I was just trying to start a conversation),, fine madam, can I sleep now…
I didn’t find sleep early,my heart was disturbed, thinking of what has become of my home,,,,I slept at about past 3am,,…I was woken by a shout from ID the next morning, you lazy thing,won’t I have my breakfast,,,,am sorry,I quickly ~answered,I rushed to fix something for him,,,he ate and left for work….
His sisters came to me that morning, and~ said they see and hear all that has been going on in the home,that I didn’t deserve any,I should try and confront him,and have a conversation with him,,,,I thanked them for their concern…
Sandra came later in the day,to bring what she got for me and the baby,,, I was very happy to see her,,we talked about so many things and about her trip,,,,,it was a retraining scheme organized by my company in PH,we were three selected for it,,though a little stressful, but it was okay,,,, she had said,,,oh I see,my husband also went to PH for a business conference,he came back yesterday,,,, wooww that’s great,she said,I came back three days ago,but have been busy,that’s why I haven’t come visiting… No problem, I understand dear,work can be stressful, but at least you get to leave the house every morning,and even have the opportunity to travel round the country, soon you may even be travelling round the world courtesy of your job,unlike me who is home based,,,you have no idea how lonely been at home can be,,,,although I know I work at home doing this and that, but I still wish I was working outside the home,,, I know how you feel dear,,,, it can really get lonely been in this big house all by yourself,you don’t say my sister,,,if not for May that have been coming every now and then to be with me,and given me some encouragement,I would have died of loneliness… You and this May ,,,Ade be careful,,,May is not what she seems,,,,that girl is a snake….she said..
Oh come on Sandra,,,,you don’t judge someone based on what you heard about them in school, did she hurt you in any way then,,, relax dear ... .I said.
I mustn’t wait till she hurt me before I learn, I learn from other people’s experiences,,,,, okay Madam, even if she was then, she has changed,,, I mean she has…I said…okay madam if you say so,,,all I know is that adults don’t change,but if you say she has,no problem,I just hope you don’t regret it…..we talked about so many other things, and then she left…….
ID came home late as usual,I waited for him,served His dinner,, when he was done,I told him I wanted to have a word with him,,,, honey, this was not how we started,we were a perfect couple, people were jealous of us,we were everything to each other, please MY LOVE, if there is something am not doing right, or anyway I have offended you,please forgive me and let me know, so that It won’t repeat itself… Please dear I want us to go back to the way we were,I love you so much,my life is meaningless without you,I need my husband back….I cried bitterly as I spoke….
Are you done,?he asked,,,yes honey,,, okay goodnight, and let this be the very last time you will waste my time for such nonsense… Rubbish.he said and went to bed.
I was on my kneels,I remained there lost in thought as to how the same man who promised to worship and adore me all his life has become a beast,,,the bigger problem is that I just didn’t know why he has changed,,,, it was my baby’s cry that brought me back to reality, I rushed to him and breastfed him.
The next day I was doing some laundry when packs of condoms fell from his pocket,,,, and a love note reading..
Love you babe
You are the best….
I was speechless,,, it felt my heart had stopped beating,,,I could never imagine ID will cheat on me,even as he was misbehaving I thought it was something I had done wrong,I never knew it was all because of another woman.
Where did I go wrong, I have been a good wife to him,,,I don’t deserve this,,,,,
My heart was racing fast ,I thought I was going to die…